Thursday, May 27, 2010

Staying up late and drinking coffee

It's one of those days. It's one of those weeks. Ups and downs, great highs and threatening lows. The Great Motel Experiment has to have a life of its own. I have to believe that - I'm not ready to imagine it has anything but a great result.

I wanted to make a vlog on YouTube about the GME, but since I used snippets of music as intro and outro on the video, YouTube cut the sound track out of the upload and so I had to delete it and will have to upload it again. I'm also busy uploading my client files to a new server because is changing location too. It's going to be a much richer site than ever before because I'm using DreamWeaver now. I used to use Intuit's as my website provider, but now I'm going to start using because I get so much more for so much less.

Yesterday and today haven't been very productive to the pocket book. These things happen. It was so much easier to handle back when I lived in an apartment and didn't have to worry daily or weekly if I had enough for rent. I just have to tell myself that the work I am accomplishing is for the future - and the future has a pretty good looking pattern carved into it already. Even if I walk up to the front desk tomorrow and tell her I can't pay her yet - and maybe not for a few days even - I highly doubt she'd suddenly change her stance about me and send me packing.

I've had a couple of tarot readings from other readers the past few days about the subject - the general overall subject of my life in the next couple of months that is. Even the readers who don't know me from Adam know I'm making major moves in this period. In a sense, I'm going to be starting things fresh. Sometime in the next couple of weeks I'll be living in a new city, a new neighborhood, and working towards getting a new permanent residence.

The facts of the matter are that I'm scheduled to be moved from on motel to another, from one city to another. That I'm being given a part-time job running the front desk and folding sheets and towels (if you have time to lean, you have time to clean). And this is in exchange for lodging. And that bottom line amounts to about $900 in savings from my tarot earnings.

My perceptions of the matter are a different story altogether. You have to take my word for it if we are to believe these things can be called facts. Many months ago I perceived I was going to make a move. I even imagined it could be to a motel, but I wanted to ignore that imagination because I wanted a new apartment instead. But circumstances beyond my control (other than years ago I knew I was moving into a building that was managed by the world's laziest landlord)lead to me having to decide to skip out on the landlord and occupy a motel.

Early while staying here I got an impression that I was bound to stay in motels much longer than originally anticipated. As I spoke with my friends, I even began to find myself liking the idea of moving to another motel in another town, maybe even more than just once or twice. Maybe even as a habit (but first this requires I buy transportation). I could see myself happy within motel life. Then I started having visions of Jessica telling me to not pay her rent. That there would be a way to work things off. I also saw myself in a larger motel than this one, more metropolitan where not only was I living happily, but I was meeting people and getting hired for readings. I also saw the website growing, and the online bookstore I'm trying to build up and running. I saw myself loading a van or some such and taking road trips hawking my wares and plying my trade.

Lately to some people I've been describing the circumstances of the past six months as if I were a camel being pulled through the eye of the needle. Things are manifesting in alignment with my True Will on this Earth, I'm finding myself able to satisfy the choices I've been dreaming of, but it is happening to me in such a fashion that it is as if I no longer have any choice about it. "You want to move? Well then, it's time to move! You want to live rent free? You're running out of money and someone is making you go to work! You want to live in Omaha? You're wearing out your welcome here, so you are being hauled off."

Every new beginning has its terrors of uncertainty. Every initiation should make you question your sanity both before and after. The ordeals that come and trials that follow are not meant to just be unexpected turning points, they are expected to be informative as to the real causes of things and the real direction meant to be followed. And they are not just real results, they are singularly symbolic and can only be fully appreciated in the Atzilutic and Briahtic senses.

Synchronicity, serendipity, opportunity and availability. Blue and green candles are burning, the blue is in the highest.

1 comment:

  1. What to say about the post. the same happened to me when i was not able to complete my project work and the next day i had to give the presentation in the office. I wake up he whole night and completed my work.