So maybe there's something to that vision of loading up a van from time to time and traveling from motel to motel - I just may not have been seeing it clearly.
This afternoon when I went to pay the bill and get my mail, Jessica asked me when I can get my license back. This was in response to me telling her that I'll be going downtown Saturday (walking)to pay child support and other things to do. You see, I don't have a driver's license because my support got behind - but that's all good now and I can get my license back any time I want, but I have to pay a $149 re-instatement fee to do so. So that's what I told her. To which she was happy, saying that yes once I'm in Omaha working for her husband and not paying rent, I can use the money I save to get that done. I said I need to use someone's vehicle - she said, yes, you will use our van. "And then some times we will need you to drive our employees places some times, and maybe if you want on some weekends I will send you to the motel in Freemont to mow the grass there." Some how I get the impression there will be other road trips too.
Oh, and about last night's worries. Yes. It came to naught really - although I can't be positive how far a test it could have been allowed to go to. I did manage to eek out one more night's payment, but then there's still the question of tomorrow - will someone call me tonight or tomorrow morning either via my website or BitWine and get readings? Because Keen doesn't pay immediately, work on that site isn't the what's needed now thing. But Jessica did not worry when I wasn't able to pay at "check out" time and had to wait a couple of hours. I's sure that as long as I am able to pay for the room she is happy to take my money, but I seriously doubt that if one or two days I had trouble accomplishing this she would throw away her plans to use me as a resource like she wishes.
I just wish the arrangement would happen sooner.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Staying up late and drinking coffee
It's one of those days. It's one of those weeks. Ups and downs, great highs and threatening lows. The Great Motel Experiment has to have a life of its own. I have to believe that - I'm not ready to imagine it has anything but a great result.
I wanted to make a vlog on YouTube about the GME, but since I used snippets of music as intro and outro on the video, YouTube cut the sound track out of the upload and so I had to delete it and will have to upload it again. I'm also busy uploading my client files to a new server because ThelemicWaves.com is changing location too. It's going to be a much richer site than ever before because I'm using DreamWeaver now. I used to use Intuit's Homestead.com as my website provider, but now I'm going to start using 1and1.com because I get so much more for so much less.
Yesterday and today haven't been very productive to the pocket book. These things happen. It was so much easier to handle back when I lived in an apartment and didn't have to worry daily or weekly if I had enough for rent. I just have to tell myself that the work I am accomplishing is for the future - and the future has a pretty good looking pattern carved into it already. Even if I walk up to the front desk tomorrow and tell her I can't pay her yet - and maybe not for a few days even - I highly doubt she'd suddenly change her stance about me and send me packing.
I've had a couple of tarot readings from other readers the past few days about the subject - the general overall subject of my life in the next couple of months that is. Even the readers who don't know me from Adam know I'm making major moves in this period. In a sense, I'm going to be starting things fresh. Sometime in the next couple of weeks I'll be living in a new city, a new neighborhood, and working towards getting a new permanent residence.
The facts of the matter are that I'm scheduled to be moved from on motel to another, from one city to another. That I'm being given a part-time job running the front desk and folding sheets and towels (if you have time to lean, you have time to clean). And this is in exchange for lodging. And that bottom line amounts to about $900 in savings from my tarot earnings.
My perceptions of the matter are a different story altogether. You have to take my word for it if we are to believe these things can be called facts. Many months ago I perceived I was going to make a move. I even imagined it could be to a motel, but I wanted to ignore that imagination because I wanted a new apartment instead. But circumstances beyond my control (other than years ago I knew I was moving into a building that was managed by the world's laziest landlord)lead to me having to decide to skip out on the landlord and occupy a motel.
Early while staying here I got an impression that I was bound to stay in motels much longer than originally anticipated. As I spoke with my friends, I even began to find myself liking the idea of moving to another motel in another town, maybe even more than just once or twice. Maybe even as a habit (but first this requires I buy transportation). I could see myself happy within motel life. Then I started having visions of Jessica telling me to not pay her rent. That there would be a way to work things off. I also saw myself in a larger motel than this one, more metropolitan where not only was I living happily, but I was meeting people and getting hired for readings. I also saw the website growing, and the online bookstore I'm trying to build up and running. I saw myself loading a van or some such and taking road trips hawking my wares and plying my trade.
Lately to some people I've been describing the circumstances of the past six months as if I were a camel being pulled through the eye of the needle. Things are manifesting in alignment with my True Will on this Earth, I'm finding myself able to satisfy the choices I've been dreaming of, but it is happening to me in such a fashion that it is as if I no longer have any choice about it. "You want to move? Well then, it's time to move! You want to live rent free? You're running out of money and someone is making you go to work! You want to live in Omaha? You're wearing out your welcome here, so you are being hauled off."
Every new beginning has its terrors of uncertainty. Every initiation should make you question your sanity both before and after. The ordeals that come and trials that follow are not meant to just be unexpected turning points, they are expected to be informative as to the real causes of things and the real direction meant to be followed. And they are not just real results, they are singularly symbolic and can only be fully appreciated in the Atzilutic and Briahtic senses.
Synchronicity, serendipity, opportunity and availability. Blue and green candles are burning, the blue is in the highest.
I wanted to make a vlog on YouTube about the GME, but since I used snippets of music as intro and outro on the video, YouTube cut the sound track out of the upload and so I had to delete it and will have to upload it again. I'm also busy uploading my client files to a new server because ThelemicWaves.com is changing location too. It's going to be a much richer site than ever before because I'm using DreamWeaver now. I used to use Intuit's Homestead.com as my website provider, but now I'm going to start using 1and1.com because I get so much more for so much less.
Yesterday and today haven't been very productive to the pocket book. These things happen. It was so much easier to handle back when I lived in an apartment and didn't have to worry daily or weekly if I had enough for rent. I just have to tell myself that the work I am accomplishing is for the future - and the future has a pretty good looking pattern carved into it already. Even if I walk up to the front desk tomorrow and tell her I can't pay her yet - and maybe not for a few days even - I highly doubt she'd suddenly change her stance about me and send me packing.
I've had a couple of tarot readings from other readers the past few days about the subject - the general overall subject of my life in the next couple of months that is. Even the readers who don't know me from Adam know I'm making major moves in this period. In a sense, I'm going to be starting things fresh. Sometime in the next couple of weeks I'll be living in a new city, a new neighborhood, and working towards getting a new permanent residence.
The facts of the matter are that I'm scheduled to be moved from on motel to another, from one city to another. That I'm being given a part-time job running the front desk and folding sheets and towels (if you have time to lean, you have time to clean). And this is in exchange for lodging. And that bottom line amounts to about $900 in savings from my tarot earnings.
My perceptions of the matter are a different story altogether. You have to take my word for it if we are to believe these things can be called facts. Many months ago I perceived I was going to make a move. I even imagined it could be to a motel, but I wanted to ignore that imagination because I wanted a new apartment instead. But circumstances beyond my control (other than years ago I knew I was moving into a building that was managed by the world's laziest landlord)lead to me having to decide to skip out on the landlord and occupy a motel.
Early while staying here I got an impression that I was bound to stay in motels much longer than originally anticipated. As I spoke with my friends, I even began to find myself liking the idea of moving to another motel in another town, maybe even more than just once or twice. Maybe even as a habit (but first this requires I buy transportation). I could see myself happy within motel life. Then I started having visions of Jessica telling me to not pay her rent. That there would be a way to work things off. I also saw myself in a larger motel than this one, more metropolitan where not only was I living happily, but I was meeting people and getting hired for readings. I also saw the website growing, and the online bookstore I'm trying to build up and running. I saw myself loading a van or some such and taking road trips hawking my wares and plying my trade.
Lately to some people I've been describing the circumstances of the past six months as if I were a camel being pulled through the eye of the needle. Things are manifesting in alignment with my True Will on this Earth, I'm finding myself able to satisfy the choices I've been dreaming of, but it is happening to me in such a fashion that it is as if I no longer have any choice about it. "You want to move? Well then, it's time to move! You want to live rent free? You're running out of money and someone is making you go to work! You want to live in Omaha? You're wearing out your welcome here, so you are being hauled off."
Every new beginning has its terrors of uncertainty. Every initiation should make you question your sanity both before and after. The ordeals that come and trials that follow are not meant to just be unexpected turning points, they are expected to be informative as to the real causes of things and the real direction meant to be followed. And they are not just real results, they are singularly symbolic and can only be fully appreciated in the Atzilutic and Briahtic senses.
Synchronicity, serendipity, opportunity and availability. Blue and green candles are burning, the blue is in the highest.
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